 |
| "A jolt of electricity passed through me" |
When
journalist, Terry Mutchler, then AP Statehouse Bureau Chief in Illinois saw
Penny Severns, an Illinois State Senator, for the first time in 1993, “a jolt
of electricity passed through me”.
Captivated from the first, she didn’t
even know what the woman’s name was: “It didn't make sense for me to be so captivated. Yet this unknown woman held my
attention. I could not, and still can’t explain it but when I saw her, I felt
something inside me shift.”
From
the beginning their relationship was both circumspect and circumscribed. Both
were dealing with a gay relationship in the political landscape of the America
of the 1990s – not so far away, but yet a million years away in attitude
perceptions, as we look back. And in addition, Mutchler’s profession as a
journalist meant that she supposed to be neutral and objective. Dating a
senator, let alone becoming involved with her, was dangerous stuff.
Their
first date included five people, including themselves – an intimate dinner that
simply expanded. Mutchler was to learn that the demands of a politician’s life
were beyond what she could have imagined. A politician truly belongs to the
people who elect him or her, and Severns was committed to her job of serving
her constituency. The relationship had to remain secret – and so, the five-year
relationship did, but at huge cost and hardship to both. The consequences of
“loving in secret” are spelled out here in a way that is almost unbelievable to
read about. Of sneaking out of each others’ homes at some ungodly hour of the
morning so as not to be seen, parking a far distance away overnight – these are
the physical, every day difficulties. But there was also the fact that their
families never really knew what role they played in each others’ lives. There
never seemed to be the “right” time to talk. Both also grappled with their
religious sensitivities – concerned that what they were doing was against their
religion and God.
 |
| Author Terry Mutchler |
When
they bought a home together, and lived in it together, with Mutchler being
described as her “press secretary”, only Severns’ name was on the bond, out of
necessity. To add both names to the bond – which could be accessed by publically
– meant possible discovery. So in this as so much else, Mutchler’s role and
part was secret. Only when travelling overseas could they be freer in their
relationship. And yet although their bond was strong and powerful – and the
jolt of electricity lasted throughout their coupling, “the best years of our
life were written in invisible ink”.
When
Severns was diagnosed with cancer, neither knew the end was coming. A cancer
that not so slowly made its way through her body. Severns died in February
1998. Not only did Mutchler have to announce her death on TV, but also had to
contend with hiding her grief from so many, both publically and privately. In
addition Severns’ family cut her out of the inner circle, denying her not
only recognition, but her share in anything she had contributed towards with
Severns.
"Sad too, to see the effect of prejudice and stigma on the lives of just one couple living in secret."
It
all happened so long ago in terms of attitudes and yet we’re only looking at
the 1990s from a distance of two decades. Same sex unions were stigmatised, and
same sex marriages a seemingly long way into the future. When more and more
high profile people are coming out, and it’s increasingly accepted in our more
“permissive” society, it’s mind-boggling to believe that a same sex
relationship could spell the end of a career. There’s a sadness in reading this
account because of this. Mutchler and Severns seemed to share that rare love –
and the fact that it was cut short by cancer, and so sadly hidden – is cause
for sadness. And sad too, to see the effect of prejudice and stigma on the
lives of just one couple living in secret.
Mutchler
writes the story of their love, and her subsequent unravelling after Severns
died, with a fresh immediacy that brings the past alive vividly and compellingly.
The pain is there, but never threatens to overwhelm the telling of the story.
The story is told is beautiful, although sad; and also illuminates and reminds
us how far we have come in the past few decades. The story ends full circle, as
it were – with same sex marriages being signed into law in the state of
Illinois. A remarkable, hauntingly told story.
.jpg)
